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Nowadays, university students are forced to choose a promising study such as technology and science. It is generally done by their parents, and the reason is usually due to money. Whereas, some parents let their children do what they want in the university. whereas는 접속사로 whereas접속사절만으로 문장이 될 수 없습니다. 현재 흐름상 이 부분은 아예 삭제하는 편이 더 자연스러워 보여요. It is obvious that students should consider their job to live well, but if the reason of studying a promising field is only for this, pushing them study what they are not willing to study do never has to happen.
20-30 years ago, getting a job was is not that difficult, so that students made a decision without worries. University students were able to work in the company they were are keen to enter. However, as the market of human resources got are depressed, students became hard to earn money if they only do study studying what they wanted. Nevertheless, the companies for technology or science, such as Apple, Samsung, Google has been flourishing, so that their demands for workers also has increased. For this reason, many students could can be hired to work for them, which bore the situation that parents force their children study promising area. 왜 이런 현상이 생기게 되었는지 배경을 설명하는 것은 질문의 요구사항과 아무런 관련이 없습니다. 유망한 분야의 공부만을 해야 한다고 보는 입장과 그렇지 않은 입장을 설명하고 내 입장을 함께 제시하는 형태의 답안이 필요합니다. However, it is not happiness. Money cannot bring people happiness. According to a recent study, many students, who started to study these kind of area because of their parents’ hope, are likely to quit their degree, 30% more than the students who chose their study by their own will.
On the other hand, if the students can study what they want, even though they could not be rich, they might create something new. Students can be much eagerer than others, the motivations lead the students to accomplish their wish. Because there have been many people who won against many hardships, so that they can make made remarkable achievements. 하고 싶은 것을 해야 더 성취가 높을 수 있다는 점을 명확하게 설명해주세요.
In conclusion, when it comes to choice for the study in university, students have to be free from others’ power, making decisions to study what they desire the most. Before the students can go into the world, yield production, their protectors should support them financially. 논점은 미래에 유망한 분야를 공부하는 것 vs. 하고 싶은 것을 공부하는 것인데, 갑자기 학생들이 돈을 벌기 전에 보호자가 돈을 대줘야 한다는 결론으로 끝나는 것은 어색합니다. |