Your Answer ▼ With a wide use of the iInternet among young people, some
people say that it has more negative side effects than merits. I do agree with
this, observing some of the bad examples of using a computer every single day.
It is obvious that there are some benefits for young generations to take advantages of having a computer. Having a huge amount of information on
the Internet, youngsters are is no longer required to go to libraries every time when
they need significant sources. It allows them to save much time, effort and
money as they are able to have it with just one computer. From my own experience,
appropriate use of a computer has been helpful for me to relieve much stress, exploiting
entertainment services in a computer such as games, movies and shopping. 컴퓨터에서정보를 얻는 것을 장점으로 설명했는데 사례는 스트레스를 푸는 데 좋다는 다른 이야기를 하고 있기 때문에 일관성이 떨어집니다. 또다른 장점이라는 언급을 함께 제시하거나, 앞에서 이야기한 정보 관련 사례로 수정하는 편이 좋을 것 같아요.
Nevertheless, it is undeniable that due to its drawbacks, spending
too much time on computer will bring disasters into children’s development. This
is because the more time children waste with a computer, the less time they
spend with their family and friends, which makes it harder for them to develop communication
and socializing skills with others in a real life. Being exposed to a large
amount of obscene and violent information would be one of the worst results of
it as those harmful materials cannot completely be banned online. What is more,
if the constant electronic waves affect children, it exerts negatively influences
on children’s brain, which is highly related to their memory development. young people은 children보다는 좀 더 나이대가 있는 대상으로 생각하시는 게 적절합니다. children 대신 the young, students 등의 표현으로 대체하는 게 나을 것 같아요. >space
In conclusions , it is true that there are some benefits for
children to have a computer. However, I agree with that there will be a lot of
side effects when young people use it every day. |