The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? |
I would certainly say that young people cause more problem than they used to be. However, the change position of women(?): (=> position of women that has varied) in society is not (=> does not mean) the major reason of the juvenile delinquency.
In the past, women (+ could be) stopped or forced to quit working in order to take care of children and mostly they have (=> had) one income resource from husband. By increase working women’s number (=> By increasing number of working women), children are better taken care (+ of) from (=> by) reliable child-care service and they (=> ... service. They...) get better educate system (=> education) than the past. Moreover, there are some resources that consequence youth problem(??) such as TV, internet and violent games that were not exited (=> available) in the past. Children tend to be exposed inappropriate(+ ly) and (=> to) unrealistic media when they are not with parents since they are out for work. Media will not filter media(??) for only children. In this point, parents can teach, keep the children away from unhealthy media, and also help to maintain the balance of composing thoughts. However, society is needed (=> needs) women power and moms cannot be with their children all the time anymore. Also, Duty of childcare is not the only responsibility of women but men (=> 'men's', or 'men's as well'). Children are needed (=> need) their parents both (x) not only one side of them(??).
Children raised in (=> by) working parents tend to be (=> 'show' is better) more independent, responsible, and mature especially for girls. Of course there are time limits that women spend with their children if they work. One parent (mostly women) works part-time to be with their children while (+ the) other parent (x) works full-time. I am sure maintaining balance between work and family is the task for everybody in this stream. |