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There are a lot of pleasant places to live in, and it would be a remarkable experience if a person can stayed in new country >> 주절 동사가 현재면 if 절은 can will may 주절 동사가 과거면 if 절은 could would should might 명심해주세요. However, this idea involves a number of factors including living expenses and a language barrier. Following concerns must be discussed and will affect the final decision of someone's will.
When a person is moving a country to another one, it is important to note the cost of living at first. This cost includes with electricity and , water bill, rent and money spent on food and cloth, which all needs to be considered in daily life. If this expense is over the limit, it will distort the person's life in several perspectives, such as lack of nutrients might leads to both mental and physical illnesses. Therefore, the living expenses must be thought, when a person is speculating emigration.
Another key obstacle that must be dealt with moving to abroad is a language barrier. The significant role of a language is so broad that every young person is forced to learn from thier early childhood. It is obvious that the language acts as a boundary between people who try themselves to fit in the new society. Poor communication skills can reveal the small matter to become huge one >> 무슨 뜻인가요?, also a person would find difficulties in adapting to new environment. Likewise, the language is one of the critical factors to think of in moving to a new country.
In a nut shell, moving to a new place, especially to a new country, requires great courage with appropriate preparations. Those who are willing to move should deliberate their decision in terms of living expenses and a language. As there is saying "Most people have will to win, few has the will to prepare to win" >> 아카데믹한 라이팅에서 인용구나 속담 같은 문장들은 좋지 않습니다 쓰지 않아요, a well prepared person can successfully work into a new member of committee.
30분 정도 걸렸는데 300자 정도 됩니다. 시간이 남는다면 한 문단을 더 쓰는게 이익일까요? 아니면 확실하게 워드 리밋만 체우고, 검사를 통해서 매끄럽게 고치는게 좋을까요?
질문하신 부분에선 후자가좋습니다 리밋만 채우면 일단 테스크에서 글자수에서 감점은 없습니다
괜히 한 문단 더 썼다가 문법 오류가 발생하고 했던 말 반복되거나 하면 감점의 요인 밖에 제공하지 않습니다
불필요한 부분 제거해드렸습니다
또 더 좋을 것 같은 문장으로 고쳐드렸습니다
Task Achievement - 8
Coherence and Cohesion - 7
Lexical Resource - 6
Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 6
7.0에 가까운 6.5~7.0 예상해봅니다~
하지만 문법에 더 신경써주세요 조금 더 틀리면 논리성 부분에서도 감점이 발생합니다
6.5로 내려갈 수도 있으니 조심해주세요 |