▶ Your Answer: Nowadays, one of the main issues for developed countries is >>주어는 one 입니다 they are asked to dole out aid to developing countries. Some people say that aiding poorer countries have a lot of positive consequences. However, others argue that to assist them from the developed countries will lead to a negative phenomenon. I think the disadvantage of aiding the poorer countries outweighs the advantages. In this essay, I will discuss what is the advantages and disadvantages of aiding poorer countries and why this is problem in general. There are positive aspects if the advanced countries give hand to the developing countries. Almost developing countries do not form proper legislation and political ideology in order to manage the countries. Therefore, if the advanced countries advise to those incomplete areas and establish political ideology, they are not only able to grow up >> grow up 은 아이들이 자라날 때 쓰는 말입니다 but also they are capable of contributing on global economics in the future. >>not only A but also B 구조에서 A와 B의 구조는 같아야 합니다 However, although the positive aspect exists, negative aspects outweigh the affirmatives. For instance, firstly, when the developed countries build the political ideology, developing countries could forget their own identity and they may lose their own characteristics. Secondly, advanced countries might be able to take bribes. These will affect negatively to the local people. For example, the civilians could impose high rate >> 가운데 - 빼주세요 of taxes, since high ranked >> 앞과 마찬가지로 - 빼주세요 officials would accumulate their wealth illegally. In conclusion, there are positive aspects for aiding developing countries from advanced nations. However, a negative aspect, such as bribe, is that the states could lose thier sight and also outweigh affirmatives. I believe that to dole out aid to poorer countries do not help them actually and is not good idea.
폰으로 작성하셔서 실수가 꽤 있었나 봅니다 집중이 부족해서
복단수 명사나 동사에서 조심해주시구요
관사 조심해주세요
Task Achievement - 7
Coherence and Cohesion - 7
Lexical Resource - 7
Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 5 >> 굉장히 쉬운 문장구조가 빈번한게 아니라 6점도 가능한데 일단 오류의 수가 너무 많아 5점 드렸습니다
6.5 예상합니다 |