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As a society social is being developed, longevity the lifespan of humans will be extended. However, it is not just good for everyone for many
reasons. This essay will give information on problems of increased life
expectancy and some solutions.
It is clear that governments should use
lots of budgets to make some social infrastructures for ageing aged people. 문제점을 먼저 설명하고 이에 대한 해결책을 연결해주세요. 또한 수명이 증가하는 것이 왜 이러이러한 문제를 유발하는지도 더 구체적으로 설명해주세요. 평균수명이 늘어나면 인구가 고령화된다는 점을 함께 설명해주어야 합니다. For
example, they need to prepare health insurance because the more people are aged ageing,
the weaker they become. Secondly, there are not many jobs that people who are
aged can have work because the majority of employers usually think that older people
are not more as productive than as those who are young. Therefore, the government should
make jobs such as a security guard safety man in schools.
Looking more personally at this social
problems, sons and daughters of old people will get a lot of burdens
financially as well. It is true the fact that they have to pay their taxes more than
before and spend money on caring their parents. They cannot afford to enjoy consume anything things for themselves, which can lead to weaken the market in the society. For solving
these problems, the citizens can be provided with the government funding for their
lives.
In conclusion, it is not limited to solve
these problems for whether the government or individual. 본론 내용에서 '정부'가 할 일만을 제시했으므로 '개인'이 결론에서 새로 등장하는 것은 부적절합니다. 본론에서 언급한 예상되는 문제점과 해결책을 결론 문단에 정리해주세요. We have to address
these issues together and the society will be developed to the better
direction.
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