◆ Delivery (Pronunciation and Intonation)
- 맨 마지막 몇 단어 발음 조금 더 정확하게 해주세요.
◆ Language Use (Grammar and Vocabulary)
- the event I remember well, it was my last birthday
-> The event I remember well is my last birthday
- In my last birthday, it was
-> My last birthday was when ...
- we hanged out
-> we hung out
- we went to the bowling
-> we went to bowl or we went to the bowling alley
- we just had a fun
-> we just had fun
- it remained very good memory
-> it remains as a very good memory
◆ Topic Development (Contents)
- 왜 memorable한 이벤트인지 두 가지 포인트를 잡아주시고 설명해주세요. 현재는 "그때 우리는 A도 하고 b도 하고 C도 하고 그랬다"의 내용이어서 조금 아쉽습니다.
◆ Comments
- 내용에 조금 더 신경써주세요. 문법 오류가 있으니 첨삭 내용을 확인해주세요.
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