Describe a person you admire and explain why you admire him or her. Please include specific examples and details in your explanation.
In my opinion, the person I admire the most is my music composition teacher. There are two reasons why I think that. First, He always had a huge impact on my music career. To be specific, when I was looking for a job in the field of music, he gave me much advice about a musical job. Secondly, He is intelligent in the field of music. Specifically, he has great musical ears and sense of music, so he is one of the most famous composers in my country. For these reasons, the person I admire the most is my music composition teacher.
채점기준 | 점수 | 첨삭 |
Fluency | 2 | accent가 대부분의 단어에서 느껴집니다. 강세가 있는 부분에서만 포인트를 주셔야 합니다. |
Grammar | 3 | 수정할 사항은 없습니다. |
Contents & Ideas | 2 |
- reason,specific, field 틀린발음 정정하여 주세요. - why I think that 어색하게 느껴지므로, why I think/fee this way 로 수정하여 주세요. - advice에 대해 구체적으로 서술해주시면 더 좋습니다. - a sense of music~하고 so 로 넘어가는 부분이 자연스럽지 않아요. 보완내요잉 더 필요해보입니다. |
Perfection | 2 | uhh, umm하는 부분이 종종 있네요. |
Score | 10-17 | Careful about wrong accent |