◆ Delivery (Pronunciation and Intonation)
- 발음이 뭉치지 않게 조심해주세요
- the token reward system is the (? 이 부분 발음을 더 명확하게 해주세요) utilizes tokens ...
- the professors his own example to (the professor uses his own example을 말씀하시려고 하신 것 같은데 급하게 말씀하셔서 발음이 뭉친 것 같아요)
- 전체적으로 조금 급하게 말씀하시는 것 같습니다. 조금만 더 차근차근 말씀해주시면 좋을 것 같아요.
- phone 발음이 부정확합니다. fun으로 들릴 때가 있어요. [o]발음을 정확히 해주시고 발음을 길게 해주세요.
- violate의 [v] 발음에 더 신경써주세요.
◆ Language Use (Grammar and Vocabulary)
- the token reward system is the utilizes tokens
-> the token reward system uses tokesn to
- and the professors his own example to in local drug treatment center ...
-> and the professor uses his own example of a local drug treatment center ...
- even though patients can be provided extra phone time who did not violate rules
-> even though those who violate rules were not allowed extra phone time
-> even though those who did not violate rules were given extra phone time
- this token can be changed as a chosen reward
-> this token can be exchanged for a chosen reward
- their behaviors are improved in a better way
-> their behaviors were improvied
◆ Topic Development (Contents)
- 문장이 불필요하게 길어지고 구조가 지저분한 부분들이 있습니다. 예를 들어, first, the patient did not follow rules or instructions even though patients can be provided extra phone time who did not violate rules because only a few were interested in extra phone time. 이 부분은 조금 더 정리가 더 필요해보여요. Some patients did not follow rules even though they were allowed more phone time if they followed instructions. This was becasue only a few were interested in extra phone time. 이런식으로 문장이 너무 길어질 때는 This is because, this was because 등을 잘 활용해주세요.
◆ Comments
- 발음은 괜찮으신 편인데 문법 실수가 여러 개 있습니다. 또한, 강의에 대한 이해도는 높으나 설명이 매끄럽지 않은 부분들이 있어요. 브레인스토밍 연습 위주로 해주시면 좋을 것 같습니다.
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